With its hands already more than full the world has greeted the news of a new 17-minute Bob Dylan song, Murder Most Foul, with a collective groan quickly followed by anger bordering on incandescent rage.
‘We thought he’d fucked off for good,’ said Portugal. ‘He’d released nothing for eight years so we thought – thank Christ, he’s finally given up, we’re in the clear at last,’ added a disconsolate Australia.
‘The bastard goes and pulls an underhand stunt like this. I mean aren’t we all suffering enough with this fucking pandemic raging around the globe? But not only that, then we have Boris Johnson to put up with too,’ sobbed Britain.
Dylan is famously something of a Marmite character bringing out strong opinions on his music. Some see him as one of the greatest visionaries, poets and singer-songwriters of the modern age. An icon whose music will still be played in the centuries to come.
Whereas others say his horrible nasal drone and plinky-plonky guitar strumming are an assault on human senses, and as for his prowess on the harmonica one leading professor of music Charles Squire commented.
“Bob Dylan is no Larry Adler. When he gets into that squealing sucky-blowy suck-suck style it sounds more like he’s swallowed the instrument and it has become lodged in his windpipe. I’d rather listen to a class of thirty mixed infants play Michael Row The Boat Ashore on recorders.”