Officials concerned at the scrabbling noises from the back of a No. 10 wardrobe yesterday were appraised by the feverish PM that he was seeking to open diplomatic relations with Narnia as part of his effort to improve the supply of much needed ventilators to the NHS.
Mr Johnson confirmed that he had commenced dialogue with Foreign Secretary Mr Tumnus, who he reported had made ‘reassuring noises’ as to Narnia’s willingness to help.
However, hopes were dashed later in the day when a press statement was released by the self-styled ‘Aslan’, Narnia’s blond-maned populist leader. He reiterated his ‘Narnia First’ policy rhetoric, reminding the PM as to the allegorical nature of his country and its virtually non-existent manufacturing base.