Panic buying ends as shops run out of panic

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Major supermarkets are running low on stocks of panic, leading to widespread concern they could run out altogether. ‘Part of the problem lies in the new time consuming post Brexit rule that says headless chickens have to be chlorinated,’ said Business Secretary Alok Sharma, opening the door in his pyjamas, an action which led to his arrest.

It’s understood the whole cabinet has been warned not to open the door in their pyjamas unless it is entirely necessary, and always when it is two metres away from another minister.

But events suggest, with the wide spread of C19 in the cabinet, that these doors have already been opened with far reaching consequences.

It’s also understood that binge drinkers will soon face a total lack of binge on supermarket shelves, and they would have to make do with fizzy soft drinks. The news was met with disappointment and a binger jeer.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2020 by

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