As Britain’s workforce moves further towards more virtual meetings, it has become alarmingly apparent, how dull the nation’s interior walls are. As any conference drones on, your eyes are naturally drawn to the area behind the speaker, only to be disenchanted by the sheer beige-ness of it all.
Complained one co-worker: ‘I’m so bored starring at the same faded pastel print or the gurning smiles of your husband on his wedding day. Just mix it up, will you! Oh and f$ck off with your kids’ finger-paintings, you know they would be in the bin, if you didn’t think you might need a kidney from one of them one day’.
Some middle-managers have used this as an opportunity to intimidate colleagues, by hanging erotic art or hunting trophies in the background. One bold executive took the decision to plaster his wall with black and white stills of Mussolini, Katie Hopkins and a movie poster of ‘Jaws, The Revenge’; saying ‘Not only is it eclectic, but it creates a sense of unease in the viewer and sympathy for sharks’.
One IT expert observed: ‘Appearing in front of a fake library fools no one and casually leaving musical instruments strewn in the background just makes you look like medieval bard. What we advise is to paint a life-size picture of your own genitals of your wall. Obviously no one wants to see that, but no one is going to admit to looking at them in the first place’.