After his COVID-19 diagnosis, Prime Minister Boris Johnson promised to throw himself into his new ‘working from home’ routine with all the vigour of shirking office workers up and down the country.
With managers receiving such spurious reasons for employees needing to work from home as ‘I’m expecting a delivery’, ‘I saw three flakes of snow land on the driveway’ and ‘I need to take the budgie to the vet’, Johnson offered the now classic ‘I’ve got Coronavirus’ excuse when he informed his boss, the Queen who accepted it unequivocally.
Workplace analysts now agree during the current crisis offering the excuse of having come down with the virus will see you back under the duvet ‘no questions asked’ even quicker than the gold standard: ‘ I can’t come in today as I’ve got a real bad dose of the shits.’
In a short recorded statement, the Prime Minister assured the public that he absolutely would get dressed before lunchtime and that he definitely would not spend all morning in bed eating bowls of Frosties. “My private living quarters of Number 10 are where all the crucial decisions affecting Britain will now be made. Things like making the choice between sticking with “This Morning” or switching over to “Homes Under the Hammer.”