Script writers up and down the country are rushing to be the first to capitalize on the rich creative vein that is Coronavirus – working title ‘Love at six feet apart’. The romantic possibilities are endless, such as boy meets girl, boy maintains healthy exclusion zone and, finally, boy offers her his last toilet roll.
Producers are looking for a delightfully oddball couple to fill the roles, who need to display a never-ending love and a persistent cough. Casting is very much dependent on budget, with the range going from Reese Witherspoon & Bradley Cooper at one end, to Maureen Lipman & James Corden at the other.
The opening scene includes the following: ‘…their eyes met above their facemasks. Was this shortness of breath the first pangs of love or something much worse? They imagined their steamy love-making, followed by rigorous hand washing.’
The general style will be Woody Allen meets Phoebe Mary Waller-Bridge – although she is probably a bit old for him. Said one Hollywood writer: ‘Obviously this script is based on the premise that everything works out fine. If not, I can always knock off another series of The Walking Dead.’