Radio 4 listeners have besieged the village of Ambridge, hoping to get access to the last place in the UK with no sufferers from Covid 19. Orderly queues of hybrid Volvos have formed on all roads into the village, despite Borsetshire Police’s attempt to turn them back. Many of the passengers say they are there for the duration, with tupperwares full of lightly spiced Ottolenghi and months of heavier spiced Guardian Frostrup Supplements to read.
‘It’s a tribute to country air, good food and villagers rarely touching each other that Ambridge is still free from the virus’, said Agricultural Story Editor Julian Smythe. ‘No wonder so many people want not only to tune in but actually come here, although Eddie Grundy’s plan to make hand sanitizer out of old cider by-products is probably best avoided.’ It’s also understood villagers are giving Peggy Archer’s famous roly polies a wide birth.
At the moment the villagers safe and the much loved soap opera is still on the air and free from unscripted diseases. These could wipe out the whole cast, meaning Radio 4 would have to broadcast 15 minutes of countryside sound effects daily.