Keir Starmer yet to get a football stadium chant


As Jeremy Corbyn bids a fond farewell to the leadership of the Labour Party and big hello to his prize marrows, the new Leader is struggling with his new found fame – or lack of it. Sadly Sir Keir Starmer is yet to set pulses racing, whereas vegetarians always raced for Jeremy’s pulses – a powerful protein substitute.

Despite his molded hair and his capacity to make it look like he’s wearing a tie, even when he isn’t, Mr. Starmer has under whelmed. His agent, however, was in bullish mood: ‘Keir’s been a Q.C., a D.P.P. but he’s definitely a H.O.T.T.I.E. He’s everything you would want from a boy-band – stiff, awkward and with a past career in the Crown Prosecution Service.’

There has been some discussion of adopting an existing football chant for the new leadership; ranging from ‘Your referees are bankers’, ‘We’re forever blowing elections’ or the heartfelt tribute to trade unionism ‘You’ll never work alone’.

A Starmer aide commented: ‘We’ll be fine once the news cycle moves on from the virulent spread of socialism’. In the meantime ‘Oh, Jeremy Corbyn’ will be confined to musical history, with many left wondering if the 2017 election was indeed, a one hit wonder.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2020 by

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