Supermarkets launch ‘Donate To Landfill’ scheme

Panic Buying

In a remarkable initiative to help their customers during the coronavirus pandemic, supermarkets have begun displaying ‘Donate to Landfill’ collection boxes.

Instead of queuing up to strip the shelves in person, anxious shoppers can simply put money in the collection boxes. Dedicated volunteers then use the money to buy essential goods, such as flour, cheese and milk, and take it straight to landfill sites. There’s no need to find cupboard or fridge space, and the service is entirely free of charge.

‘This saves people the time and trouble of queuing,’ said Help the Aged volunteer Susan Speyers, explaining that her national team of volunteers plays a vital contribution to society by doing all the panic buying at off-peak times, when most people are at home holding in utility companies’ telephone queues, or trying to log-on for a home delivery slot.

‘Last week, it was mostly toilet rolls, hand sanitizers and eggs. This week, it’s flour and cheese. We’re very responsive to public demand and we’re proud of our efficiency. When did you last see a packet of yeast?’

However, the scheme is reportedly not without its problems, since supermarkets now have to deploy all their available security staff to guard both the landfill collection tins and the goods donated to food banks.

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Posted: Apr 5th, 2020 by

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