Chris Whitty accused of trying to ‘sex up’ coronavirus


Marketing experts have decried the Chief Medical Advisor, Chris Whitty, of trying ‘too hard’ to sex up the pandemic. ‘Young mothers, middle aged women and, yes, aging grandmothers are tuning in nightly to hear him issue his commands in a husky, breathless tone – much like his patients,’ said one expert today.

His friends aren’t surprised at his success. ‘He could easily have been side-tracked into a boring career replacing hearts or operating on brains, but Frank knew the sexy career choice was epidemiology. The times I’ve seen rocket scientists literally eating out of his very well scrubbed hands, I can tell you,’ said one friend.

‘I think the “45 minutes to infect a small town” claim is a little too far fetched,’ said another friend, ‘but watch this space. I reckon Frank will be performing topless urging us to “stay at home” and whatever else it is he says,’ he added.

‘After the pandemic, I expect he’ll have a nightly chat show and will embark on an arena tour,’ said one of the marketing experts. ‘But I assume he’ll insist all the seats are positioned 2 metres apart.’

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2020 by

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