Banksy’s mum has rocked the art world by running his best trousers through a paper shredder. The incident happened after Banksy returned to his parental home for the Lockdown and began painting political graffiti on her walls.
A shocked neighbour who woke to see a giant mural on the side of Mrs Banksy’s home said: ‘It’s quite good actually. It shows two police officers taking their clothes off in the park while a soldier has his head blown off by a bunch of flowers. It really makes us working class simple folk think about stuff. Thanks Banksy, I don’t know what we’d think about without you!’
Art experts are divided as to the authenticity of nearby graffiti that reads: ‘My artist son is behaving like a complete knob.’ While some say it is ironic self-reflection written by Banksy himself, others claim Mrs Banksy defaced a wall while waiting her turn outside Sainsbury’s.
In related news, police have apologised for arresting a poet in her own garden. The Chief Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police defended the officer, claiming he was acting in self-defence because the poetry was offensive.
An overstretched NHS has asked artists and poets to refrain from sticking their heads up their arse. Government guidelines stipulate that artists should contemplate their navels instead.