It has emerged this afternoon that during the Easter holiday Buckinghamshire Police issued a caution to a man who had driven from central London to one of his second homes despite tight restrictions being in place forbidding such actions during the current health crisis.
Chief Constable for the force Douglas Jennings said: “Acting on a tip-off from a member of the public, a Mr M Gove, I can confirm that officers attended a large dwelling near Ellesborough where we spoke to a gentleman whose main residence is actually in Central London but who had, contrary to the current government guidelines, gone to the house.”
“We gave him an extremely robust ticking off before issuing him with a caution and a warning that subsequent flagrant breaches of laws that are there for the welfare and well-being of everyone, with no exceptions, will be viewed much more seriously and the matter will definitely not be dealt with in quite such a lenient way.”
When we called the house someone purporting to be the gardener who sounded frightfully upper class said, “Spiffity-wiffity and a whip waa-hoo! Ah yes, the fact is the gentleman that I work for said he was frightfully sorry but that he hadn’t got a clue about these jolly old new laws.”
“However, now that he’s been brought up to speed he jolly well promises to abide by them one hundred percent… well not unless there’s a bit hot totty involved. Haha, what?”