Trump to start funding the Coronavirus

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In a bold move, the President has said he no longer wants to fund ‘losers’ and will, instead, be supporting the clear success stories of 2020; this includes Poverty, War and Mrs Brown’s Boys. More specifically, the $400m earmarked for the World Health Organisation will now go to help the spread of Covid-19, which is soon to become the USA’s major export.

Mr. Trump is convinced the Coronavirus can help kick-start the US economy, making it a world leader in deaths – a title already held by the Pentagon. Rather than see the virus as the enemy, the President is convinced that the spread of a deadly infection can help Republicans – after all, it worked for Fox News.

In response the CEO of Covid has said: ‘This is the kind of forward thinking investment we expect from a Trump Presidency. This will help us fund future versions of Coronavirus – the Covid-20, the slimline Covid-21 and the i-Covid.’

If the WHO is to survive, it will need to find other revenue streams and cannot simply rely on sales of ‘Quadrophenia’. Meanwhile, the Coronavirus said it looked forward to partnership with Trump, describing it as ‘a match made in heaven’ – which is probably where we will all end up.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2020 by

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