Man late for Zoom meeting after “Hellish commute up to study


Reluctant father of three, Tony Strafe, has been officially warned after blaming his lateness to morning Zoom meetings on his “Hellish commute up to his study.”

Tony, an insurance broker at Wender’s and Co, has been working from home for four weeks now, and has clocked up an astonishing nine late meetings. “Hey guys, I’m sorry I’m late again – the traffic on the stairs was absolutely killer. I got stuck behind Brian’s fire engine for 10 minutes as it tried to extinguish the cat. I’d only just finished bandaging the tail when Suzie arrested me for non-essential travel – apparently insurance is not an essential service in my house…”

Some have taken to social media to defend Tony’s lateness, but Wender’s Insurance Company have refused to back down. “Last week, Tony was late by 23 minutes for an important meeting on a bizarre case of cat arson, and tried to claim his daughter was jamming up the bathroom and he really needed to go. These are dark times – it’s the same for everyone – Tony just needs to put on a brave face and go in a bowl like the rest of us.”

Tony thought lockdown couldn’t get any worse. But on Wednesday, he was unable to get to his study when a furloughed South Western Trains engineer turned up to replace the handrail on the stairs. “Unbelievably, he said he’d be turning up every morning at 8:50 to put in a twenty minute shift and he thought he might be done by September! Wrong kind of toys on the stairs. Apparently, there’s a replacement drainpipe service up to my study round by the bins.”

Tony’s official warning came after his latest transgression. His Wender’s team leader said: “It’s one thing claiming you’re late because the kids made a fort outside your bedroom – but when you turn up two minutes late chuffing in a dressing gown with a seedy grin on your face we can all work out what you’ve been up to.”

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Posted: Apr 18th, 2020 by

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