‘Fireman was working on his golf handicap’ admits LFB


A leading fireman who should have been at work putting out fires in the London area had gone missing for several weeks earlier in the year ‘in order to work on his gold handicap’ admitted a spokesperson for the LFB

The fireman in question missed five important house fires across February and March and left it to junior firemen to deal with the problem.

‘To be fair to the fireman he had just returned from an exhausting two week holiday in the Caribbean’ said LFB spokesperson Michael Grave ‘and then had to rest up for another two weeks in order to get over his holiday. It turns out there were no golf courses at the resort he was holidaying in….inevitably his long game became a little rusty. So it stands to reason he needed a little time away from work to brush up on his handicap.

‘It’s not unusual, it’s something we all do’ added Grave.

It has emerged that the fireman was not alone in his dereliction of duty

A number of other key workers joined the fireman on the golf course when they too should have been busy at work.

It has emerged that a roofer who should have been fixing the roof during the mild winter sunshine was also out playing golf.

A seamstress who should have been making PPE equipment for the NHS was also out on the golf course….’she had orders to stitch nine face masks but failed to make them in time’.

A ship’s captain – who should have been delivering essential medical equipment – had also joined the fireman, the roofer and the seamstress on the golf course but had stayed behind for drinks in the club house and as a result missed the boat.

A butcher who should have been salting bacon in his butchers shop was also spotted on the 9th green. But when he finally got around to doing something about the bacon he found it had gone off.…..’an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure’ reminded his hungry grandma.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2020 by

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