‘I’ve got too much petrol’ not a reasonable excuse to drive, say traffic police

Police

Top Tips for driving without a reasonable excuse.

Lockdown is a difficult time for everyone. That’s why we’ve come up with these top tips to help you drive around without a reasonable excuse. This simple list gives you the means and the confidence to drive from Manchester to Skegness with a caravan in tow. Happy holidays!

1. I’ve got too much petrol, officer. If I don’t drive around it’ll overflow.

2. I’m off to see my elderly mum because she’s very sick. She lives in a pop-up tent on the Isle of Skye.

3. The last thing I remember was listening to Paul McCartney, then I woke up driving along this motorway.

4. That’s a nasty question! What network do you work for?

5. I’m off to collect some facemasks. From Croatia.

6. I’m driving around looking for a seaside hospital because I trod on the invisible anemone.

7. Don’t be a cutie-pie.

8. I’m invisible / you’re invisible

9. Help! My name is Meghan and I’m being chased by the paparazzi!

10. You’re human scum! (only use this one as a last resort)

11. I’m the Duke of Edinburgh. Now fuck off.

12. Petrol is much cheaper at the moment…….I want to empty the tank before it starts going up again

13. I’m picking up Captain Tom to take him to Love Island.

 

Hat tips to Gerontius and oshaughnessy

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2020 by

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