New business venture, WeBuyAnyPlane.com, has had the greatest launch in business history and is already worth more than the total value of all money in circulation worldwide.
The website offering reads, ‘Just pop in the registration number of your aircraft – or entire fleet – and we’ll guarantee you an offer in under a minute which could be a cash payment of anything up to £4.80 for a nearly new 747, £5.25 for an Airbus 380 and £0.25 pence for a fleet of Boeing 737 Max* aircraft .’
An advertising industry insider has confirmed that a series of TV commercials are in post-production featuring Phillip Schofield cuddling kittens and performing deft acts of Pangolin genital balancing while proclaiming that, ‘he would rather be doing this and blowing billions than actually trying to sell high value items for a fair market price.’
WeBuyAnyPlane has announced a joint deal with WeSellAnyFuelFutures, which was also launched recently to deal with the negative pricing of fuel. ‘We’ll buy any plane but charge you double if it has any fuel in it,’ explained WeBuyAnyPlane CEO Frank Wittel, ‘however when we sell the planes on we’ll pay buyers to take them with a full tank of fuel. It’s quite possible we’ll be paying people to buy fleets of aircraft, even if they only popped in to buy a seat to Malaga or ask for directions to the Co-op. The way things are looking, we can throw in a third runway at Heathrow or an island in the Caribbean to the first lucky buyer,’ said Frank today.
*Price unchanged since early 2019