We’ll still inexplicably end prices with 0.9, confirm petrol retailers


No matter what the price of oil, the cost of a litre of petrol will still inexplicably end with .9, all petrol retailers confirmed today.

The news comes after the price of a barrel of crude oil temporarily fell to less than zero today, as oil producers struggled to offload excess capacity.

‘Ultimately, we still treat consumers as idiots’, admitted Mike Stetson of the Petrol Retailers Association. ‘When they see a sign saying 114.9p per litre, we know that they stupidly think that it is a massive bargain, compared to 115p’.

‘We won’t be dropping our prices anytime soon, anyway, because as a cartel, we’re not really in the habit of passing on cost savings to the customer’, continued Stetson. ‘But, if they did fall to zero, the forecourt price would have to be -0.9p…or would it be -0.1? Maths was never my strong point’.

The news will be welcomed by garage forecourt gamers around the UK, who can continue with their 50 year unsuccessful quest to dispense exactly one litre of petrol at the pump, and actually be charged the 0.9 of a pence by a cashier.

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2020 by

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