Scottish Government orders 10,000 self-testing kilts


Nicola Sturgeon has announced that the Scottish Government does not have the necessary level of confidence in Nick Hancock’s plans and ramps, to increase the level of testing for CV-19 in the UK.

Instead, she and her government have opted to ‘go it alone’ and have decided to bring in their own testing regime.
“This is Scotland’s answer to the UK’s lamentable record on testing for the virus. In four weeks we’ve only had seven people tested and this is clearly not good enough. At the moment our brave NHS staff have to undergo an 800-mile round trip to a miserable car park in Wembley to get themselves checked out.

So we’re investing heavily in this new, made in Scotland technology. All you have to do is slip it on (underwear optional of course) and an LED built into the sporran will glow red, if you test positive for the wee beastie, or glow green and play Mull of Kintyre if you are negative.”

It is understood that production on the first batch is already underway and can be McRamped up as and when needed.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2020 by

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