Boris Johnson’s lamentable record on protecting the British public, may have been caused by his failure to renew appropriate virus protection. Instead, Boris thought ‘malware’ was a seventeenth century cravat worn by Jacob Rees Mogg.
Sadly, he mistook the warnings from the World Health Organisation, for an elaborate phishing scam. Not helped by the fact, that Boris can not tell the difference between Tedros Ghebreyesus (an Ethiopian microbiologist) and a fake Nigerian Prince.
The UK has ignored 20,000 deaths and subsequent pop-up messages to renew. Explained a No.10 spokeswoman: ‘‘If your nation is unprotected, it is at risk for viruses’ is far too cryptic, it could mean anything. We just assumed that the UN was after our credit card details again’.
A scientist clarified: ‘The Coronavirus has similarities to a computer virus – teenagers spread it without caring and your Nan doesn’t know how to protect from it’. Meanwhile Boris promised prompt action, just as soon as he could boot up his Sinclair ZX Spectrum.