Boris to import american chicken drenched in Domestos


Boris Johnson has struck a ‘premium trade deal’ with the US: ‘We have listened to the great British public and their concerns over the importation of chlorinated chicken and I was therefore delighted when President Trump suggested that the answer was to move the whole debate upmarket.  My trusty aide Cummings tells me that Duck ala Dettol is a firm favourite on the menu for diplomatic dinners at Buck house.  He reckons that a few well placed articles in the Mail and the Sun will be all that is needed to convince the great British public that this is the way to go.’

Meanwhile the news has been given a cautious welcome by the new Labour Party leader Kier Starmer who told NB:  ‘It is very important that the opposition does nothing to disturb the unity of the nation in these difficult times.  Therefore I am now prepared to reveal, for the first time ever that for many years before I attend a soccer match every Saturday afternoon (oh yes I do) I always enjoy huge bag of fish and chips liberally seasoned with salt and Jeyes Fluid.’

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2020 by

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