‘I’m raring to go!’ Boris declares he’s fit to fertilise again

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The prime minister has returned to work after recovering from Covid-19, ready to procreate again.  Becoming ill with the coronavirus severely limited the PM’s ability to shag his way through turmoil.  Consultant at St. Thomas’s hospital, Stephanie Chambers said:  ‘We knew he was on the mend when his ventilator requested a pregnancy test.’

During the morning’s press conference on the steps of number 10, the PM stated the UK has ‘flattened the peak’ – but could not confirm this on a personal level.   A Special Advisor explained:  ‘Don’t be surprised in the next few days to see members of the cabinet wearing PPE made of double-thick latex.’

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2020 by

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