Scepticism as man claims ‘perfect result’ after just one cycle in pop-up toaster

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A man from Pease Pottage claims to be ‘still gobsmacked’ when after he put two slices of bread in his pop-up toaster to make himself a tasty beans on toast lunch, the bread popped up perfectly after just one cycle in the machine.

Architectural Technician Dave Ryan told reporters: ‘I had already grated the Cheddar and figured by the time the bread popped up for the second time the beans would be nicely up to temperature and everything would be good to go.’

But with his claims of what happened next being roundly poo-pooed by domestic scientists as risible, nevertheless Dave insists his bread was done to a perfect even golden-brown on both sides after the first pass and as a result his beans weren’t even nearly ready meaning his lunch was ruined.

A leading kitchen gadget expert who works for John Lewis was emphatically dismissive stating:  ‘This is either a hoax or a clumsy publicity stunt by the toaster’s manufacturer.  There is no toaster in the world that can perform this feat.’

‘Pop-up toasters do one of two things on a first cycle.  Either they scarcely mark the bread meaning you have to repeat the cycle at least once, unless in foolish attempt to beat the machine you turn the element up higher than half way.’

‘But as everyone knows this inevitably only ends up setting off your smoke alarm and produces two twisted slices of smouldering charcoal.’

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2020 by

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