‘International Shirkers’ Day’ passes without incident

Screenshot 2020-05-03 at 13.24.30

Fears of “Day After May Day” related disruption have largely proved unfounded. Across the globe there were absolutely no reports at all of marches, mass protests and riots on May 2nd, International Shirkers’ Day.

International Shirkers’ Day – the annual celebration of slackers, skivers and layabouts – traditionally takes place the day after May Day, signifying the lackadaisical approach of those workers that overslept, took a sickie or just couldn’t be arsed to attend events planned for May 1st.

There have never actually been any Day After May Day Riots, and typically turnout is low, but you can normally find one or two shirkers shuffling through the broken glass and burned out police vehicles that litter the streets following May Day.

They’re usually not there to protest or show solidarity with fellow shirkers from across the globe, but are more often just seeking out an open kebab house, as most fast food joints will have been vandalised, looted and rendered unable to deliver.

However, this year it appears that, en masse, shirkers around the world decided to simply not bother. It is thought that this total lack of activity is directly attributable to the current Coronavirus crisis, given that Government issued advice provides the perfect ready-made excuse for staying home, sitting on your arse and doing absolutely cock all.

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Posted: May 4th, 2020 by

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