Channel 5 launches new series of Coastal Ramblings with Nigel Farage

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In a new series for Channel 5, self-appointed UK Coastguard in Chief and Immigrant Finder General, Nigel Farage, is to set off on the walk of a lifetime along Britain’s south coast.

Packing only an eighteenth century blunderbuss with a spring loaded bayonet, a leg of dried gammon and a yard of ale, the intrepid rambler will set off from Dover to Penzance under the cover of darkness ‘to avoid any police brutality’ along the route.

He will search out hidden coves and secret places, flushing out illegals and suspicious ne’r do wells as well as ‘remoaners’ who, before the Coronavirus lock down, had the audacity to drink in proper English pubs taking up bar space reserved for proper English men and women’.

When asked by the BBC’s political correspondent, Andrew Marr if this was just a cheap publicity stunt which he was using as an opportunity to give himself more political exposure Mr Farage said “Come on. Have I ever used stunts before to make a political point?”

With an answer in the affirmative Mr Farage said he would be complaining to the Corporation in the strongest possible terms and probably write a letter to the Queen to boot for the injustice he has been put through.

Channel 5 producers have expressed their concerns for his safety and security along the route in the event that he is confronted by angry mobs or nut jobs.

A Home Office spokesperson said, “We’ve done a health and safety assessment and as long as he keeps off the main roads and sticks to the verges he should be alright.”


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Posted: May 10th, 2020 by

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