Conservative Government to return to unprotecting the NHS

Boris

With the echoes of the 75th Anniversary VE Day celebrations still fresh in our ears and ‘official’ data demonstrating the country is well past the first peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, the UK Government is changing its official message from “Stay Home, Protect The NHS, Save Lives”, to “Stay Alert, Control The Virus, Save Lives” in order it can quietly focus on with the main Tory occupation of underfunding and dismantling the NHS on the quiet.

“It’s time for the country to move on and a sense of normality to be reinstated”, Prime Minister Boris Johnson said in outtakes from his pre-recorded Sunday evening address, “and the best way for us to do this is to ditch all that ‘Protect the NHS’ nonsense so this Conservative Government can get on with its agenda by carving it up and selling it off to the highest bidder.”

Many members of the Conservative Party have already been severely alarmed by the seven-week period of investment in the NHS, which is the longest period of sustained funding by a Tory Government in the past seventy years.

Lifelong Tory member and keen amateur vivisectionist, Stephen Collinson (54) of Barton Stacey is typical of the ‘voice of concern’ in the party

“I’m with Boris”, stated Mr Collinson, “My pension pot is down 20%, my house is now worth 5% less and my oil shares in a Saudi Arabian drilling company are not worth the paper they printed on. It’s time to sell off the NHS and get some much-needed cash into the British coffers. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off to queue up outside my local garden centre”

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Posted: May 11th, 2020 by

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