Go To Work > Take Your Chances > Protect The DWP

IDS

As the Nation scratches its collective head as to what on earth The Prime Minister was trying to say former Secretary of State for the Department for Works and Pensions Iain Duncan Smith has come to the PM’s rescue to clarify the Government position

“What the Prime Minister was attempting to convey was the clear message for people to return to work, take their chances and in doing so Protecting the DWP from being overwhelmed”.

Everyone’s favourite Brother-in-law of the 6th Baron of DWP, then went onto explain that by people returning to work and doing ‘their bit’ they would be relieving pressure on the DWP by not claiming Universal Credit, accepting various government grants and the long term fiscal benefit of not reaching the current retirement age of 67 (although by the time you’ve finished reading this article that will be raised to 75).

“It’s imperative that people Go To Work, physically, none of this ‘Working from Home’ nonsense, which we all know means playing Pop Master at 10:30am before falling asleep in front of ‘Countdown’ by 3pm. Use public transport, overcrowded buses, trains, tubes. Why not share an Uber?”, the former Secretary of state proposed, “and in doing these simple things they will be protecting the fine British institution of the DWP being overwhelmed by scroungers, lead-weight swingers and people who feel they are entitled to free money after paying 50 years of National Insurance contributions. Crack on Britain!”

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Posted: May 13th, 2020 by

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