Despite the best efforts of the press to portray teachers as beautiful, energetic individuals raring to get back to the classroom, the public is still completely aware that most teachers would be more accurately portrayed by Worzel Gummidge after a twenty-year diet of coffee and regret. [read...]
Amid growing concern that the House of Commons simply not entertaining enough when social distancing rules mean that very few MPs can be in it any one time, the British public has suggested that the government take a leaf out of FC Seoul and pack the green benches out with inflatable sex dolls. [read...]
The UK came together as one last night, ignoring the growing North-South divide on property prices, to applaud the ‘selfless heroes’ returning to their work as estate agents, letting agents and valuation managers and bravely driving their branded Minis to viewings where they might have to put up with any number of dimwits and timewasters…. [read...]
Boris Johnson has revealed that as a child he started a Buck’s Fizz appreciation group, and when he said ‘F@*k Business’ at a diplomatic function last year he was trying to refer to ‘Buck’s Fizziness’. [read...]
