Sinister donkey-befriending Labour leader ‘Sir’ Keir Starmer has been criticised for ‘unparliamentary behaviour’ after allegedly using facts to confuse Boris Johnson. The Labour leader is also accused of listening to the Prime Minister’s responses and waiting to collect his thoughts before using something called reason. [read...]
Charity walker Captain Tom Moore will now be expected to do laps of his garden 24/7 to fill the funding gap in NHS provision. In addition to using his walking frame, Captain Tom will be asked to do keepy-uppies to pay for schools, [read...]
After nearly three years in the making the Brexit garden, designed in collaboration with experts, renowned designers and votes from the general public is causing a major rift among Royal Horticultural Society judges. Entitled ‘Pull up the Ramparts’ the installation features a crumbling castle representing an English man’s home, [read...]
Sources inside Parliament have revealed that the real reason why MPs are reluctant to return to the House of Commons is that social distancing rules mean games of tag during break time will now be ruined. [read...]
