Keir Starmer censured for ‘unsporting’ use of facts


Sinister donkey-befriending Labour leader ‘Sir’ Keir Starmer has been criticised for ‘unparliamentary behaviour’ after allegedly using facts to confuse Boris Johnson. The Labour leader is also accused of listening to the Prime Minister’s responses and waiting to collect his thoughts before using something called reason.

The evidence looks damning. Conservative MPs have shown videos of Starmer calmly waiting for the PM to finish speaking before responding to the specific points made, an act which many describe as ‘treacherous’, ‘underhand’ and ‘pure evil’. Surprisingly, none of the videos has been doctored – presumably an oversight.

Friends of the Labour leader say that he is ‘considering his position’, though – given his propensity for weaponising facts – this probably just means that he is ‘considering his position’. Bastard.

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Posted: May 21st, 2020 by

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