Government announces an extra Christmas bank holiday in August


The government is bringing in an extra Christmas in August to boost the flagging retail sector, tourism and the fossil fuel-burning Chinese Xmas tat industries. Downing Street said it was a completely brilliant idea and at least ten times better than the boring extra bank holiday idea suggested by some dreary woman in tourism.

The Digital, Culture, Media, Sport & Where Exactly is Boris committee, was told by the Chancellor that the economy was on its last legs and down to its last £20.00 to see it out to the end of the month. An extra Christmas should boost the High Street and bring back non-quarantined tourists from unquarantined countries with no quarantine regime in huge numbers. The only downside was likely to be on the nation’s mental health as people are exposed to incessant, early-onset Christmas songs.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2020 by

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