Prince Philip glad he doesn’t have to do the Queen’s hair any more


Prince Philip has welcomed the partial return to work of some UK sectors saying the easing of lockdown restrictions could not come fast enough. The prince said that Coronavirus distancing rules introduced by the government meant that he and the Queen had been caring for one another since mid March and they now looked forward to getting a little help from the servants at Windsor Castle.

‘The south wing of the upper ward is in desperate need of a tidy up,’ he said. ‘Betty ran over the dungeons with a hoover and I’ve kept myself busy polishing the silver. But it’s all getting a bit much now. We are both considered ‘at risk’, so apart from popping out on a Thursday night to clap for the NHS and Monday mornings to pick up the Wiltshire Farm Foods weekly parcel from outside the drawbridge. we’ve not set foot beyond the moat’.

The prince said the hardest part of lockdown has been keeping the Queen’s hair in such immaculate condition. ‘Self distancing rules really hit us hard there. Just the two of us self-isolating in that little castle – there was nothing else for it, so in the end I decided to do it myself.’

‘I watched some tutorials on YouTube and ordered some perm rods and some tensioning strips off Amazon but I really underestimated how much neutraliser you need. I was running out fast, so easing off the lockdown has been a godsend.

‘But quite honestly I was very proud of myself. Just look at her hair on her TV ‘message to the nation’ – you would have thought it had been done by a team of professionals, but no, it was just me, although given a second chance I would have used a slightly higher developer on the highlights.‘Never give up, never despair’ – she got that bit from me after I spilt peroxide on the corgis.’

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Posted: May 24th, 2020 by

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