Broccoli could be used to self-distance children say health experts


Covering children in broccoli spears , spinach leaves and other fresh vegetables would virtually guarantee that self-distancing rules would be observed in schools.

Many parents fear sending their children back to school following lockdown – insisting it is impossible to keep  from hugging and playing with one another but health experts say a simple covering of broccoli would help remedy the situation overnight.

‘Fresh vegetables are a known child deterrent,’ said behavioural studies professor Jason Beesley ‘everybody knows that healthy food stuff and young children simply do not mix….my own children would rather choke on a tortilla wrap than sit at a table where fresh vegetables are on the menu…..cover children in carrots or curly kale and they won’t go anywhere near their classmates.’

‘Warn the children that if they refuse to self-distance then the vegetables will be cooked,’ added Beesley. ‘Imagine catnip….only the complete opposite. Should a child still break self-distancing rules….highly unlikely but we must prepare for every scenario….then warn the child they will be made to eat the cooked vegetables. I think you’ll find that will do the trick.’

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Posted: May 26th, 2020 by

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