Theresa May pissing herself

TM

Theresa May is currently spending most of her time absolutely pissing herself at the mess Boris Johnson and his cabinet are making of running the country.

The former Prime Minister is still MP for Maidenhead, but is struggling to adequately serve her constituents as the majority of her days are taken up rolling about laughing at the latest shit show coming out of Downing Street.

‘I would like to say that I wished my successor well, I really would. But after being deliberately undermined and sabotaged so that a blagging chancer could make an opportunistic power grab I will admit to being a little bit bitter,’ said Mrs May.

‘Having watched him go from thinking it was all going to be about sticking it to Johnny foreigner to ‘get Brexit done’, to having a pandemic to deal with, to being hospitalised with the virus himself, to this Cummings fiasco, it has been bloody brilliant.’

May’s favourite moments include the government buying nonexistent Turkish PPE from a t-shirt salesman, issuing advice that nobody understands and accidentally making it Illegal to drive to Wales.

‘The best part of each day is the briefings, they are absolutely hilarious and regularly leave me crying with laughter, continued the former PM,

‘Anyway I’ve got to go now, the latest one is about to start and I can’t wait to see what they’re going to fuck up today. Pass that popcorn and those tissues will you.’

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Posted: May 26th, 2020 by

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