NASA releases photos of Dominic Cummings on the Moon

Moon1

Dominic Cummings, has been photographed visiting the Moon on no less than two separate occasions during lockdown. A NASA spokesman said: ‘In the first set of images, he appears to be squinting back past his beak at the Earth. In the second set, he is contaminating the surface by urinating into a crater. He later looks briefly under a moon rock.’

Mr Cummings has defended his actions, claiming he was just testing his eyesight. ‘I needed to test my enormous eyes before I could pilot a rocket. Everything where I live is too close, and it’s not really a test. Only from the Moon is it a challenge to see stuff.’

He added, ‘Besides the Moon isn’t really that nice – it’s all grey and squalid like concrete.’

His second visit was shrugged off by saying, ‘Using my superb eyesight, I thought I’d spotted a childcare worker under one of those moon rocks. There are literally no childcare workers on Earth, so I had little choice but to try the Moon.’

Meanwhile Michael Gove, has defended Cummings’ actions. ‘Mr Cummings is due to visit the Andromeda Galaxy next week. He was right to test his piloting skills on the short trip to the Moon in preparation for his inevitably longer journey past Beutelgeuse. He’s done nothing wrong.’

Heroic astronaut, Tim Peake weighed in on the argument saying, ‘It’s just another case of one Celestial Body for us, and another for them. Why is Dominic Cummings allowed to take a piss in the Sea of Tranquility when I’m not even allowed to go to Greggs? And those two visits to the Moon are just the ones we know about. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d gone over to the dark side when we weren’t looking.’

Share this story...

Posted: May 28th, 2020 by

Click for more article by ..


© 2020 NewsBiscuit | Powered by Deluxe Corporation | Stories (RSS) | T & C | Privacy | Disclaimer