The government’s hotly anticipated Test, Track, Trace and Test Again In Case system, which launches today in the UK is already out of date and has some bits and bobs missing, according to NHS leaders.
The world-beating system won’t be fully operational until December when training manuals and a consignment of duct tape, are delivered by a company of Russian technical experts operating out of Minsk.
As a viable alternative, Liam Neeson is being brought in to deal with the situation. Sir Joseph Mee, Deputy Head of the NHS, said that ‘Although Mr Neeson has no money, he does have a very particular set of skills that, according to his CV, have been acquired over a long career.’
We are confident that a man who can track down the human traffickers who abducted his daughter, will make its very existence a nightmare for the virus.”