Reckless illegal gathering becomes fine as clock strikes midnight on May 31st

An illegal gathering recklessly flouting lockdown rules has become perfectly fine after the clock struck midnight and the date changed from May to June.

Paul James, from Northampton, had five friends round for a barbecue in his garden on Sunday May 31st, ignoring laws aimed at reducing the spread of coronavirus and showing a blatant disregard for human life.

After shamelessly eating food from their illegal barbecue the group, all sat two metres apart, disgracefully continued drinking and chatting through the evening until after midnight, at which point it was all OK.

“I’m absolutely shocked to be honest.” said a neighbour who didn’t want to be named for fear of reprisals from the outlaws. “I thought Paul was quite a decent chap, but the way he was carrying on, having a group of friends in his garden maintaining social distancing, hours before June 1st, he might as well have been spitting in the faces of nurses himself.”

“I was fuming. After they’d been out there drinking for several hours I decided enough was enough and I called the police just before midnight. While I was in the middle of explaining to the operator that my neighbour appeared to have decided to no longer abide by the laws that govern society my wife pointed out that the clock had ticked past twelve and it was all legal now.”

“I apologised to the police and put the phone down. I feel so stupid. But I hope they’re all pissing in the garden, because if I see anybody go in to the toilet I’ll be straight back on to the police.”

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2020 by

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