The A-Team criticise lack of furlough support for soldiers of fortune


The A-Team have become the latest group to criticise the government’s job retention scheme, pointing to a complete lack of support for those surviving as soldiers of fortune after fleeing wrongful imprisonment.

Everybody’s favourite 80s fugitives have been hit hard by the coronavirus crisis, with the number of recently widowed landowners involved in disputes with sinister drug barons dropping to zero almost overnight.

“I love it when a plan comes together. But I don’t love it when a pandemic takes away your livelihood and the government doesn’t support your industry.” said A Team spokesman, John “Hannibal” Smith, chomping on a cigar.

“Let’s look at the advice that has been issued. Work from home if you can. Nope. Can’t do soldier of fortuning over Zoom or Microsoft Teams.”

“Go into work if it’s safe to do so. Have you ever tried maintaining two metre social distancing while building a fully functioning armoured car out of cardboard boxes, plastic sheeting and an old lawnmower? Can’t be done. But we don’t get furlough as an option.”

While the government have not directly responded to the criticism, it is believed there is a feeling that an industry where briefcases full of cash are the traditional payment method, with little in the way of tax returns being completed, had this coming.

One member of the Team is seeing a positive side of the situation though, with B. A. Baracus said to be delighted that he will not be expected to get on a plane any time in the foreseeable future.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2020 by

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