IT sociopaths thoroughly enjoying lockdown


It has been revealed that Information Technology departments are having a great time making life especially difficult for those working from home during the coronavirus pandemic. The geeky individuals who work in IT have always taken a certain amount of perverted pleasure in frustrating mere computer users, but a study has shown that the current working environment has raised their enjoyment to a whole new level.

‘They tell everyone that they’ve increased their awareness of cyber-threats, reinforced their virus protection regimes and implemented multi-layer firewalls to enable everyone to work from home,’ explained Dr Alex Woodley of Brunel University who led the research. ‘However, we found that they haven’t done any of those things, they’ve just increased the amount of dicking about they’re doing with the system to make things more problematic, which their sick, twisted minds find entertaining.’

With so many staff now working remotely, the study reports that IT nerds are delighted to be able to wreak increased havoc with their sadistic punishment of those with real jobs. It states that their gleeful generation of system access problems, their hilarious half-baked implementation of video conferencing applications and their side-splitting scheduling of inconvenient software updates have all been stepped up, resulting in an unprecedented number of calls to the country’s No Help Whatsoever Desks.

The research paper quotes one of many caffeine-fuelled computer bores sitting in their gaming chairs with built-in triple monitors in their sad bachelor bedsits. ‘You have no idea how much fun I am having in sending people the wrong printer drivers and corrupting their remote settings for example,’ said the sad individual. ‘I even managed to get one guy’s laptop into Airplane Mode without him noticing, and then got him to call his broadband provider to complain, it was hysterical’.

The research concluded that HR departments are wasting their time with all those trendy on-line workshops covering the pillars of resilience, maintaining connectivity and the six dimensions of wellness. The university has therefore launched a networked support group for all those affected by their ordeal, called ‘Lockdown – Learning to deal with IT’.

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Posted: Jun 5th, 2020 by

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