Government to release homeless back into wild

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With Government funding being withdrawn in July, record crowds are expected to gather to see London’s homeless being released back into the wild.

‘Having been housed indoors in hotels and B & B’s for the last couple of months, they are itching to get back out into the open air and to forage in their natural habitat’, said a Downing Street spokesman.

‘On release, many are expected to head straight for the higher ground around Hampstead’,  added the spokesman. ‘However, we expect the majority of the herd to spread out across central London, where they can find materials to build their own shelters and where the homeless have survived unaided for hundreds of years.’

According to leading charities, allowing the homeless to fend for themselves in the open air will save the Government millions of pounds in feed and shelter costs and the government has given assurances that following the latest scientific advice from Sage, the new socks and mittens being given to each individual will ensure that they are immune from the Covid-19 virus.

It is expected that the homeless will be allowed to roam free in and around London until the annual Crisis at Christmas roundup.

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Posted: Jun 7th, 2020 by

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