World-beating Prime minister and outspoken advocate of racial harmony, Boris Johnson, has said that he feels the pain of the Black Lives Matter protestors, and that he understands black people.
Standing in the Ladbroke Grove studio sound system of Jah Mogg & The Recliners, Mr Johnson made an impassioned speech about his appreciation of the contribution made by black people to the UK.
“I think we can all agree that without them Britain would have no decent statues worth toppling, the treasury would, frankly, be completely skint and a health service staffed by EDL members doesn’t bear thinking about.
It saddens me we’ve had to cancel Carnival this year, mainly due to this virus chappie, which should mean fewer arrests and a reduction in stop and search. I’ve also had complaints from some friends who live in Kensington who say it makes a terrible racket, so it’s a racial win-win all round.
Furthermore, to do my bit to defuse tensions I’ve invited Jah Mogg and his crew, along with the Lawrence family to Downing Street, to smoke some weed and look at a Powerpoint presentation Dominic has put together about how well we’re doing on Windrush.”