SAGE to replace two-metre physical distancing advice with ‘wiggle room’

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A SAGE scientist, who wished to remain anonymous, commented that current WHO advice is a one-metre limit, which France has adopted, while the Germans, just to be different, are currently running at a complicated 1.5m. ‘Its obvious that the WHO, in line with everyone else, doesn’t have a clue. These rules are clearly made up and as mandatory measurements go, there is no wiggle room.’

Business Secretary Alok Sharma was delighted with the proposal, to stop thousands of businesses going out of business due to having no business: ‘This sends a clear and straightforward message to the great British people, who have constantly struggled to work out what 2m is. Wiggle Room gives them the chance to use their famous common sense, and of course gives us someone to blame when the second wave of the virus comes along.’

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Posted: Jun 16th, 2020 by

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