One-fifth of Earth’s ocean floor is now mapped – thanks to broken Satnav


Mr & Mrs Agnew of Port Talbot have inadvertently driven their Ford Focus across 14.5 million sq. km of sub-nautical landscape, after a disagreement over which is the quickest route to Swansea. Relying heavily on their aging Satnav, the couple took a left turn near Cwmanvon and were not seen again for two years.

The data from their journey will be used by the Nippon Foundation-GEBCO Seabed 2030 Project, but will also serve as a timely reminder to anyone who forgets to update their Google Maps. Mr & Mrs Agnew agreed that they instantly regretted driving into Swansea Marina, but both were too stubborn to admit their error, until they passed the Puerto Rico Trench.

Remarked Alice: ‘I knew something was wrong, when were we attacked by a giant squid somewhere off the Gulf of Mexico. We had to fend it off with a golfing umbrella and a can of De-Icer. Driving along the seabed comes with many challenges, the main one being to remember to keep the windows rolled up. That said, games of Eye Spy were never boring.’

Their journey evoked a feel of Jules Verne’s ‘20000 leagues under the sea, 47 minutes from Slough’. Even now, Alice’s husband defiantly remains underwater, convinced he will still find Swansea; said Michael: ‘Blob, blob blob blob, blob’.

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Posted: Jun 23rd, 2020 by

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