Cinema-goers happy to sit in front of morons stuffing their faces for 2 hours


As the government has now given cinemas the go-ahead to open from July the fourth, film fans have been busy snapping up tickets online.

‘We can’t wait’, said Gary Nelhams, 38, a furloughed Pilates data analyst from Bromsgrove. ‘As soon as the words were out of Boris’ mouth we jumped on the laptop and ordered our tickets.’

‘It’s not so much the films we love as the overall cinema experience, added his wife, Dawn. ‘I mean, once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. But, sitting in front of complete morons, all talking noisily, slurping shakes and loudly crunching popcorn, is a cinephile’s delight.

‘We both enjoy the fact that they don’t give a toss about other people and where else can you get into a debate on film? Last year we went to see Vice and this bloke behind us said he liked Christian Bale, but he was a shit Batman. Gary patiently explained that Bale wasn’t overplaying the role and his performance effectively exposed the torments of the Dark Knights’ inner soul.

‘We left the Multiplex dripping with milkshake, and it made for a memorable evening out.’

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2020 by

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