“It’s too hot” confirm scientists

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Scientists from Cambridge University have confirmed that it is way too hot at the moment.

“We ran a number of very complicated scientific tests and the results show that it is definitely too hot.” said the lead researcher, bleary eyed due to not having got any sleep last night in the heat.

“Brits are not genetically equipped to deal with this kind of heat unless they’re on holiday, with easy access to a swimming pool and cold weak lager. As a nation we operate best at a very specific and narrow temperature range in between ‘too cold’ and ‘too hot’. And this is too hot.”

“Pretty much every man, woman and child in Britain is already sunburnt, and it’s going to stay this hot for at least one more day. This could be a public health crisis bigger than coronavirus.”

Government officials have confirmed however that people should continue to work from home where possible, and reiterated that you still cannot meet friends inside their house, even if they have air conditioning.

But you can briefly ignore social distancing for long enough to give them a slap if they’re being too smug about it and are referring to it as “AC”. As long as you wash your hands afterwards.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2020 by

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