Children’s Book Market Salvaged with Virally Updated Titles

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Charlotte’s Webchat with the Top Half of Grandma’s Face

Alice’s Adventures in Blunderland, Misquotes and Doctored Statistics

Anne of Green Tonsils

Charlie and the Great Glass Box Around his Local Town Statue (bit more BLM, that one)

James and the Giant Bottle of Peach-Scented Hand Sanitiser

Peter Pan-demic

Pippi Longstocking, Apron, Face Mask, Visor and Gloves

Five Go Mad with Cabin Fever / Five Thousand go Mad in Primark, etc

The Hobbit: There and Back Again becomes Dominic Cummings: Durham and Back Again

The Secret Garden Lockdown-Defying Barbecue

Five Children and It’s All Driving Mummy Mad

The Borrowers of Everything We Couldn’t Find in Sainsbury’s

Flat Stanley can Finally Bubble with Maisonette Graham

Stig of the Dumped Substandard Turkish Ventilators

War Hoarse and Suspicious Cough

The Velveteen Andrex (is back in stock at Tesco’s)

Wind in the PM’s Billowing locks / Spin-ing the PM’s Peccadilloes

The Empty Loo Roll Holder at Pooh Corner (because, getting to Asda first…)

The Liar, the Hoarding Bitch, and the Wardrobe full of Loo Rolls

Winnie the Putin and the Bodies Buried in Hundred Acre Wood

When we were Very Young Mummy Drank a Lot of Home-School Gin

The Tale of Petering out Rabid Response Testing Kits

The Bungle Book of Govt ‘Guidance’ (featuring Moangli, Hullabaloo, Shere Kharnage & ’king Screwy)

A Tinkle in Time only if the Public Loos Reopen

Green Legs and Hands: New Symptoms Confirmed

The Adventures of Chucklescary Spin

Swallows- and Amagonnas

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Lay-offs

Swallows and Amazon’s Deliveries

The Tiger Who Came to Tea and Shat Everywhere

The Adventures of Tom’s Lawyer

Little Red Riding Hoodie

The Railway Children Nicked for Trespassing

Thomas the Wank Engine

The Never Ending Tory

Treasury Island

The Bi-Polar Express

The Liar, The Ditch and the Unkempt Wardrobe

Windrush in the Willows

Contributors: Filthy Rich, SteveB, oshaughnessy

Hat tip to ron cawleyoni.

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Posted: Jun 27th, 2020 by

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