Suntan oil slick threatens south coast

Durdle Door

Environmentalists are expressing serious concern as a fifteen-mile-wide suntan oil slick threatens England’s south coast.

The slick, which started in Bournemouth after a major beach incident on Thursday, is now spreading westwards along the shoreline and is, according to one expert Dr Hugo Wearing “posing a serious risk to both marine and terrestrial wildlife as well as property values in Poole’s exclusive Sandbanks area.”

Marine scientists have confirmed that the Bournemouth ‘Piz Buin’ slick is larger than the Exxon Valdez oil spill in 1989, the Prestige oil spill in 2002, and the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in 2010 combined.

“On the scale of suntan oil slicks this one is definitely a Factor 50.” Said Dr Wearing.

Following criticism for allowing the slick to happen, Boris Johnson defended the Government’s position, “A major operation is now in place to contain it. This involves tying together punctured lilos, used nappies, and the thousands of plastic bags left behind by sun seekers to create a massive floating boom worthy of keeping even the deadly Spartans at bay.”

Meanwhile, in Wales, reports of dozens of beached whales washed up at Barry Island have been quashed after an illegal hen party was dispersed by police.

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2020 by

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