Odds against winning on Gala Bingo greater than catching Coronavirus

Bingo

Grabbing a free prize everyday with Gala Bingo is less likely than contracting Coronavirus at the local shops or after a visit from your snotty grand kids, say experts.

Hearing the numbers 1 and 9, nineteen, called out is more likely to refer to your Covid-19 diagnosis and, if you are over eighty-five, then staying alive will definitely be your main concern.

A spokesperson from the Government Statistics Service (GSS) said, “With individual towns likely to be on future lockdown it really is a postcode lottery out there so, if you are feeling below par then it means doctors orders, number 9, and staying indoors.”

Janet Cosworth of Billericay, Essex who enjoys chatting online with friends over a game of Gala Bingo said, “Since I took up Bingo three years ago I’ve won three hundred quid and lost a bit too, and although it’s been fun chatting online it’s a bit sad when people stop showing up. I really miss ‘BingoGal76’ and ‘LuckyLizzie’ and would’ve gone to their funerals, but we weren’t allowed.”

Speaking from his £5.5m secluded mansion in the Cotswolds, EuroMillions winner and former plumber, Dave Rogers said, “I haven’t been back to my local Newsagent since I bought the winning ticket. I was going to give him a few quid, but I’ve heard he’s now on a ventilator so it’s not really worth it. The new girlfriend says it’s like playing Russian Roulette when she goes out shopping for handbags. You’re not safe anywhere.”

Meanwhile in other news, Birmingham’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital has acquired £500,000 from the National Lottery to help towards the cost of PPE and running the Intensive Care Unit.

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Posted: Jul 2nd, 2020 by

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