Cowes man looking forward to not going to gym again


Isle-of-Wight resident Colin Taylor (34) has confessed to a ‘giddy rush’ of excitement as he prepares to reinstate his standing order to Bannatynes Gym in Cowes whilst continuing his ongoing regime of sitting about watching ITV3 in his leggings.

‘These last few months have been really tough,’ confesses the currently furloughed Lettings Agent. ‘I desperately missed the rhythms of normal life: getting up at the same time every day, doing a solid day’s work and, of course, seeing £43.99 disappear from my Monzo account on the first day of every month for no discernible benefit.’

‘I used to expend so much physical and emotional energy not turning up for a 80 minute workout, I’ve really missed it. I mean, I’ve bought some 10kg padded weights and hi-resistance stationary bike, but it’s just not the same not using those. And I can’t even incentivise myself with a final non-dip in a hot tub.’

However, Colin says he has been able to find other ways to exercise his complete absence of self-discipline. ‘The furlough has given me so much free time. I’ve been able to not take an entire Rosetta Stone Mandarin module. Also I’ve not read ‘A History of Rome’ by Mary Beard three times.’

Along with the reopening of Bannatyne’s, Colin has had a further boost to his sense of vague unease: ‘I’ve just learned my job isn’t being reinstated at the end of the furlough. Now I can finally feel vaguely guilty about not creating a presence on LinkedIn – good times!’

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2020 by

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