Unbeknownst to fans of Bristol Rovers, the club has been banned from European football since 1883, which ironically has never been a problem, since they never qualified. With their highest ever position, finishing 6th in the second tier of English football, the closest Rovers have got to Europe, was a pre-season friendly on the Isle of Wight.
Rovers are Bristol’s third largest football club, behind Bristol City and Gloucestershire County Cricket Club. Said one Gas Head: ‘Apparently we’d also been banned from winning the Premiership and the FA Cup; which definitely explains the last 40 years to me. And we only won the Watney Cup in 1972, because we dressed up as the under-eleven’s Cub-scout football team’.
Meanwhile Tottenham are due to narrowly miss out on qualifying for an automatic spot to be banned from Europe. Said one Spurs fan: ‘I dream of being good enough to be banned from a trophy’.